Archive for April, 2009

Fear of submission

I knew a woman who couldn’t finish her novel because she was afraid of what her mother would think. This writer decided she would have to wait for her mother to die before she could publish. Good luck or bad – the novel died long before the writer’s mother ever did. ~ Alice Hoffman

These three sentences resonated with me very much, more than I like to feel comfortable with. I am happy sharing my writing with friends, some more than others and some stories written for a close friend exclusively. I do worry what people will think of what I write if I should try to submit it anywhere though I am not scared to write the stories I would not like some people reading them. I know as a writer we shouldn’t be picky, but expressing oneself through writing, writing from the heart makes us vulnerable.

I am most comfortable writing for my friend Lynne in the Phillipines becasue I know I can write anything and she will not judge me, just my writing. I have written for her exclusively a series of stories and I love these stories with all my heart because they are me writing honestly and true to things I think and feel. Its liberating to have a friend who is this way and I love the characters I have created for her. I want to send them out in the world, but yes, I am scared to.


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The world is a little more obscure today. Not in the literal sense of course, but in the literary sense with the passing of J.G. Ballard.

The first book of his I ever read was ‘Hello America’, not associating it with the ‘Empire of the Sun’ until much later when looking at the inside cover of the book and discovering i had actually read his work before. My interest in his writing continued when I read ‘Running Wild’ and the ‘The Unlimited Dream Company’ Each novel was one I would lose myself in, greedily snapping up words and and pages, revelling in the ideas and psychology of his world perception, crystal words that spoke truths that are sometimes hard to deal with.

His work fascinates me – the clarity of his vision of the dystopia in which we live, the idea of man versus machine and the self destructive way in which we can relate to it. Isolation, crime, the need for order and its negative impact all deliciously portrayed with believable characters and situations.

The ideas he put forth, the candidness with his portrayal of his life and the passion he invokes with each new novel created a staunch supporter and follower of me.

It is not often that an author with have a dictionary definition based on their name, nor a whole genre of fiction defined by their view on the world, nor even a multitude of punk and rock bands using titles from his work for albums and songs.

It is not often that I cry at a stranger’s passing.

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I have been very very geeky this Saturday despite the lovely weather and remained glued to my seat in one of those mammoth tasks that always need doing but always get put off. I have been needing to streamline my blogging for some time, and today was that time.

Livejournal is easy – there is a button for that in the tools panel – xanaga however is not so easy and, whilst there would be alot of duplication, i decided something automated would be better than cut and paste and adjust times and dates by hand because whilst i am geeky i am not an idiot and life is definitely too short for that.

Transferring from xanga involved installing apache on my machine and making local databases in wordpress to be able to transfer xanga archives. I have more archives elsewhere in backup, but they will get done another time. Needless to say i had fun following instructions, inserting comments into databases and discovering issues and problems that are still not over yet.

Currently i am working my way back of old posts adjusting names in the commentary that have all come through as ‘anonymous’ and removing duplicates. I still have to reload all images etc, but that again is for another day. I have all the entries in one place now and will upload to a main blog here on wordpress and it feels like i have made some progress.

one thing i am not sure of though… should i move this blog and merge it? or just hide all the old things and immature posts and ideas from prying eyes. I wouldn’t delete them, but i have no idea if they would interest anyone. Maybe i will just keep the well written ones, but then that gives a wrong impression of me and seriously, i am a dummy at times >_<

I am tempted to move it all and just let it be public as much as possible, but then the good entries get hidden by the day-to-day mess i write.

I know i won’t write on xanga anymore, but LJ…well, i have too many friends there to stop. Perhaps i can do a monthly export to my wordpress archive and delete entries.

any thoughts?

edit: wordpress dictionary doesn’t have the word ‘blog’ in it

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Say what???

I was asked if i was born in Victorian Times on Sunday by one of the little girls i teach JUST because i didn’t have piano lessons when i was a kid. >_<

“How old do you think I am!” I exclaimed and started laughing.

She started laughing too for asking such a question and we giggled every time we caught each others eye. I love her big time for being so funny and cute.

Never tell me seven year olds are not fun to hang out with!

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Music and Words

“…musicians paint their pictures on silence…” (quote by Leopold Stowkowski, orchestral composer, 1882-1977)

this quote was on a board i visit and the poster was asking what music people liked. My answer there was a little random and rambly, but i’ll try to organise my thoughts on it here a little better.

I pretty much listen to anything that can inspire me and makes me FEEL something. Music has to move me, be poetic and lyrical and full mof emotion. I have a different emphasis for different languages of course, I listen to music in Korean, Japanese, Chinese and English as well as a few in French and Spanish!
For Korean, Japanese and Chinese artists the lyrics have to flow well as I don’t understand most of the lyrics – words have a poetry of their own even if you don’t know their meaning. The voice is important too, one that expresses itself and has depth of emotion and feeling. Sung SiKyung does this very well, as does Yoon Jong Shin and Kim Kwang Suk who is a new ‘discovery’ of mine and one I really recommend. I like Yoon do Hyun and Hwang Bo and Drunken Tiger (of course) and Shyne a female singer who died last year who has such a lovely husky voice. For Chinese artists I Like Leehom Wang, Jay Chou, Nan Quan Mama, Nic Tse and Jordan Chan as well as some others – Melody plays a bigger part for me here. Japanese tracks are random and usually Korean artists singing them.
Western artists I like are singer/songwriters like Sarah Mclachlan, Heather Nova and I like ambient sound scapes and film scores. I like folk music of all kinds and my favourite instruments to hear are the erhu and the cello.
I love classical, i think opera is awesome too.

I guess one of the main styles I like is hip-hop and I like clever lyrics like eminem, but I hate any sort of rap/r&b to do with bling and money and chicks etc etc as i think the true premise of hiphop is about expressing social concerns and is a form of urban poetry that can actually mean something and reflect the world about you.

Like JK of Drunken Tiger said in an interview – he sees himself as a modern pansori and thinks thats why Koreans like hip hop as a form of expression. I think Korean hiphop is unique and wonderful and carries the true spirit of the genre now as its about things people can relate to and debate about.

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I don’t normally re post convos or comments, but this one really made me giggle – it appeals to my inner nerd 😀

The original source of the convo was from photoshopdisasters.com – a blog about how photoshop artists screw things up – so we can all point and laugh and feel smug that we wouldn’t do this too (sure….)

K8E said… you kinda have to be a Trekkie, but the picture is upside down compared to the text. idiots to send it out like that…

Wood said… In space, at zero gravity, there is no “up” or “down”

mycintosh said…In Space there is no up or down!

Andi said…There is no spoon…

Mikko said...I think this might be just to piss off Trekkie’s. You know, the series is supposed to take place in space, but still the ships have an upside and a downside.  All right, they seem to have artificial gravity pointing into the “bottom” of the ship, but how come every time they meet some other ship in the space they have the upsides pointing to the same direction…

Brent Ross said… ‘mycintosh said… “In Space there is no up or down!”‘  … until someone comes along and writes text over it.

lee-sherman said...The star ship in the picture isn’t even in “Star Trek VI.”

soundeziner said…It does indeed appear in Star Trek VI. It was piloted by now-Captain Sulu (all irony noted by those who managed to enjoy Star Trek III’s stealing-a-spaceship scene). Oh god, I just revealed my Trekiness.

Blissful Builder said…The star ship is also upside down with respect to the planet in the background. I don’t think I have ever seen a ST Star ship in orbit with the warp engines and saucer section tilted towards the planet. The star ship in orbit is either parallel to the planet’s axis or the main hull points to the planet and the warp engines tilt away from the planet. This looks completely wrong at many levels.

Hubert Hubert said...In space, no can hear you tutting.

rattbahlz said…soundeziner, I hate to out-nerd you, but this ship actually appeared in Star Trek Generations and was not commanded by Sulu. You’re thinking of the Excellsior, this is the Enterprise-B.

AL7AIR said…@ rattbahlz The USS Enterprise NCC 1701-B is an Excelsior Class vessel, the second refit variant with the updated engineering section, warp nacelles, deflector dish and added impulse drives on the saucer section for better maneuverability while separated as well as a new bridge module to be exact, that was commissioned in 2293. Almost a decade after the prototype NX-2000 had its maiden voyage in Star Trek III. The Enterprise B under the command of Captain Hikaru Sulu was on its way home from a three year mission, to catalog gaseous planetary anomalies in the Beta Quadrant, when it was hit by the shock wave from the explosion of the Klingon moon Praxis at the beginning of Star Trek VI.

Sez said…@Brent Ross you summed it up nicely – with no reference to Sulu or 3 year missions, well done!
@Blissful Builder and AL7AIR..wow…. (O_O)

Ty said...We’ve come full circle!If I remember right, the original model was meant to be used in the orientation shown here, with the saucer and nacelles down and the body up. However, somebody thought it looked better the other way around, and so it was used “upside down” in pilot and from then on. This DVD just has it back in the original orientation!

Rich said…

nope…Sulu never commanded the Enterprise B: From Memory Alpha…and also from actually watching the movie:

By 2290, the Excelsior (NCC-2000) was under the command of the now-Captain Hikaru Sulu. His first assignment was a three-year mission, cataloging gaseous planetary anomalies in the Beta Quadrant. (Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country)

According to a line cut from the script, the crew cataloged “fifty-four planets – and their gaseous atmospheric anomalies.”
In 2293, as the Excelsior was returning to Federation space following the successful conclusion of its mission, it was struck by a powerful subspace shock wave caused by the destruction of the Klingon moon, Praxis. Upon discovering the cause of the disaster, Sulu immediately contacted the Klingon High Command to offer his ship’s assistance. The Klingons, however, turned the offer down, requesting that Sulu obey treaty stipulations and remain outside the Neutral Zone. Thereafter, Sulu reported the incident to Starfleet Command. (Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country)


i have no idea if any of the comments are even right, but i think its pretty awesome that people could know that much about a show. They need to edit star trek fiction for accuracy ;).  I think it reminds me of the scenes of the three nerds in later Buffy seasons.

*smiles happily* i love ‘nerdomdays’

edit: Trekkies is actually an approved word in the wordpress dictionary!

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Every now and then i think crazy thoughts – usually on a Friday after too much coconut ice

Today’s crazy thought, or rather thoughts, are those lingering back to the tng/ds9 trek fic i was once writing 8 years ago.

I am tempted…very tempted. Not for showing anyone (i can save that humiliation for never) but just for me, juts to have fun writing a ridiculous and trashy story line. Like a sugar candy writing fix that really would be no good for me but oh so delicious to do.

Tempted… very very tempted…

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